Anal- my real thoughts on the matter!
Anal! Many would say it’s a bit like marmite; you love it, or you hate it. I totally disagree with this. For me I like it, I may love it and then other times, it’s not for me. What really is important when it comes to trying anal for the first or hundredth time is just relaxing, not rushing into it and generally just going with the flow.
What is not
It does not hurt (if done properly)
When you mention anal to people and they wince or say it hurts, you know they have had a bad experience. Because anal really should not hurt. Using a lot of lube, warming up (with either fingers, smaller toys) and then slowing easing in especially depth wise is the best way to achieve painless anal sex. Not getting enough lube, not being relaxed or trying to much in there too soon is a sure-fire way for it to be painful or generally not an enjoyable experience.
It is not the same every time
A bit like with certain foods, or activities you feel different about it on certain days. You need to listen to your body and your mind and if you are up for it, then great embrace it and go for it. But if you don’t feel like it then don’t do it. Just because of circumstances in our lives we may mentally feel different some days, have different levels of inhibition which impacts on how we relax. Understand this and if the sensation isn’t working for you just leave it and if it is working then go ahead.
The goal of it having to be something “big” in there
I’m quite chilled out in my nature so I like to see what happens and just relax myself into situations. A personal dislike of mine is when talking about anal or doing it is the “I want you to take a huge toy/ cock in your arse”. I just roll my eyes at these types of request, and it kills it for me. If I feel relaxed enough I may enjoy something larger, other times maybe not so much. The expectation of it having to be something large actually can have the opposite effect.
All about the giver not the receiver
This applies for cam shows or in real life situations. Sex is a two-way thing, anal is no different. But due to the nature of anal and as I mentioned in my first point, it absolutely has to be right for the receiver otherwise it just won’t happen. I always believe if the receiver is enjoying it then the person giving will too. Even if the “giver” is taking a dominant role one of their responsibilities so to speak is taking control of the receiver’s comfort. Ignoring this and just doing what they like is just a recipe for an anal disaster!
This post really is my experience and it will be different for everyone, but I often use my liking for chilli to compare my feelings towards anal and I think this can work for most people. I like it, but NOT all the time or TOO much of it.
Just because some people like loads of it all the time and can cope with the hottest and biggest of chillies, that does not mean we both don’t like chilli it just means that we enjoy it in different ways. The same concept applies to anal, it is not the same for everyone and other times we may like it more or less than on previous days. Then for others they don’t like chilli at all so don’t have it. And that is cool too!
So, if you are looking for a cam show from me, please be aware my feelings towards anal (and chilli’s!!) may be different each time. I go with the flow and it’s on my own terms rather than take demands or requests to please someone else.