How important is foreplay?
As a pantyseller and webcam model since 2013, sex, masturbation and generally most things fetish are part of my everyday life. I’m very open in my attitudes to sex but I tend to find within my social media, my online webcam persona, and often blogs I may project a different image when it comes to my attitude to sex. I am a lot more explicit and straight to the point. . However when I was asked by Simply Sxy to write about foreplay, I looked at this more from a very personal life perspective rather than a sex industry professional.
“Sex is massively important to me, in or out of a relationship. Putting it very simply, I love having sex. My sex drive has always been incredibly high and every partner I have ever been with has always found I know exactly what I want sexually.
However ultimately, with sex, quality always wins over quantity and I find when not in a traditional relationship, I always opt for no strings agreements over one night stands. Having some form of connection with another individual; male or female just helps for me to get my needs met and be fully satisfied with sex. Not only do I need sexual chemistry and attraction, I need to be with someone whom I can communicate what works for me, what doesn’t and what they like in order to experience the best possible sex.
I love the feeling after (good) sex, caused by the release of endorphins. My mood is always lifted and the after sex buzz just helps me feel more positive.
How Men & Women View Foreplay Differently
I’m going to speak generally here because I have been with a few male partners which do not fit into this statement. However I would say for the majority, men see foreplay as the more sexual aspects focusing on between the legs and sometimes breasts. I love oral, and I love to be fingered but the lead up to doing these can be just as much of a turn on and get me very sexually excited.
For me, a massive turn on is touching through clothes whilst having my neck kissed. Anticipation mixed with kissing, touching thighs down my back and my breasts through clothes, and stroking my erogenous zones drives me wild. Then for me, the lead on to touching and oral sex just feels so much more natural and enjoyable.
I think generally this is because most men don’t get the same sort of pleasure from this sort of touching. Foreplay and areas to touch on them which are most pleasurable, again speaking generally are focused in the crotch area. I know for most men, stroking their back or neck will not have the same effect as if I was to stroke my hands over their crotch. Which is maybe why a lot of men skip the first stage I mentioned and go straight for the obvious sweet spot on a woman!
Importance Of Foreplay To Me
For me foreplay is very important but it is not to say every single time I have sex I need traditional view of foreplay like touching or oral. I do think there needs to be some “warm up” or teasing prior to penetrative sex. This could be like I mentioned above, just kissing and touching through clothes. Or even a bit of sexting to start the teasing off.
I would much prefer to have no foreplay and pleasurable penetrative sex, rather than mechanical forced foreplay. This comes back to my point about chemistry, attraction and the ability to communicate and be intuitive with a sexual partner and being with someone who can read the situation and deliver good sex in that moment.
Does Foreplay Lead To Better Sex?
Foreplay has to be intuitive and natural, not something forced or almost habitual which precedes sex. Bearing in mind what I mentioned previously, this is not solely just the touching between the legs and oral sex.
For me lots of kissing, teasing (either physical or verbal) along with touching and oral sex pretty much always leads to explosive, satisfying sex. Just because you have engaged in foreplay doesn’t mean amazing fulfilling sex, it’s the quality of the foreplay and how fulfilling that is that leads to better sex overall.
Types Of Foreplay I Enjoy
I have not really given much focus to it so far but I love oral sex. Giving and receiving really does it for me. Especially with eye contact!
I love going down on a guy, getting into a good rhythm and then looking him in the eye seeing the look of enjoyment as I do so! Similarly when receiving, I love eye contact when a guy (or girl) has their head between my legs.
For me a good rhythm really works for me when it comes to oral. I like light fast strokes of a tongue over my clit, with finger stimulate and varied pressure from inside me to really make me moan. In fact I have had partners that have such a good technique going on, it has ended in a massive squirting orgasm from this technique.
Although the best oral sex I have received was from another female. So it is certainly true that a woman knows what works and can give this!!”
This article was first published in Simply Sxy in August 2018. You can read the article here.